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VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners

A little boy is walking home from school when a car pulls alongside.

"Come on get in the car" says the driver

"No way" says the boy

"I'll give you a lift home, it's much quicker than walking" says the driver

"No, get lost" says the boy

The driver replies "I'll give you some sweets, if you'll just get in"

The boy stops, looks at the driver and shouts.

"You were the one who decided to by a Volvo, dad! Now you have to live with it!"

I bet the Volvo driver didn’t even notice what had been going on, on his car.

Why did Princess Diana drive in a Mercedes?
She wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

Volvo redesigns the tennis ball

This pedal must never be used!

Volvo driving tuition. Rule No. 16754 & 16755

Right foot must be placed on this pedal at all times!

These rules must be observed at all times when driving a Volvo

1 less Volvo on the road.

This

lane

must

never be

used

Stay in this lane. Max speed 50mph

This lane may

be used when someone wishes to overtake you

When driving a Volvo on a UK motorway, the left-hand lane must never be used, the centre lane has a maximum speed limit of 50mph and the right hand lane can only be used to stop people from overtaking you.

More Links

What's the difference between a Volvo and a sheep?

It's marginally less embarrassing getting out of the back of a sheep...

Buying a Volvo may affect your salary

What’s the difference between a Volvo & a pencil?

A pencil has a point.

Quite what this is all about is beyond me.

Sex in a Volvo?

Thanks to its extra space, the wide-bodied but boring-looking Volvo Estate has been voted as the best car for having sex in the back seat by British car owners. According to a survey, the car has seen more action than any other.

The multi-purpose Mercedes Benz Sprinter Van came in second place.

The survey, which was conducted by yesinsurance.co.uk polled over 4,000 people and placed the VW Camper van in third, the BMW 3 Series Saloon in fourth and the Ford Escort in fifth.

The result of the survey showed that at least 68 percent of those polled said they have had sex in a car and one in 10 say they had did it while driving.

Another six per cent claimed they had damaged their vehicles while getting busy - but only one in 100 of these were bold enough to claim on their insurance.

A spokesman for the yesinsurance.co.uk said, "It would seem that space is the most important issue for couples who want to enjoy themselves."

Actual Volvo Advert.

The trouble with this is that it just about sums up all Volvo drivers.

They wouldn’t realise if they had run over anything, whether it’s the Grim Reaper, or even Santa!

Most Volvo drivers have been cheating death for years anyway!

Do Anything For Money?

Some people will do anything for money!

How much is the going rate for someone to pose half naked on a Volvo?